I am taking a page from the Dervish grrl and following suit with La La La Wednesday.
I never saw a wild thing
sorry for itself.
A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough
without ever having felt sorry for itself.
Self Pity by D.H. Lawrence
It has been a tough few days and I am feeling a bit blue, more like down right sad. I keep saying to myself: chin up and remember the poem.
A few weeks ago, I did a little self-exam and I found something that I didn't have before. It is small, almost unnoticeable. I have been doing these exams for many years and I know how they feel and what they have and what they do not. This new lumpy as I have come to call it is new. I went to my doctor, who happens to be one of my closest friends, she did an exam and she gave me great hope. However, to be 100% sure, I am scheduled for my first diagnostic mammogram in a week. I have always been a worry-wart and I just can't stop thinking of the "big ifs". One thing at least, if it is what I fear, we have caught it early. Maybe it is just muscle that is "reshaping" due to my exercising. I have in one word: fear. If I think about it too much I end up crying and squeezing my kids and hubby. Chin up kiddo! It may be nothing...
My thoughts are with you.
xoxox!!!
Posted by: Christie | March 26, 2008 at 04:15 PM
My hope and prayer is that this will be nothing and you will be perfectly healthy!
Posted by: Marisol | March 26, 2008 at 05:13 PM
Thinking of you.
Posted by: Kathy N | March 26, 2008 at 05:25 PM
I'll be thinking of you Isela. I pray it turns out to be nothing :) I've had one mammogram and it's really simple, didn't hurt a bit. Thanks for reminding me that I need to make an appointment soon :)
Posted by: Kansas A | March 26, 2008 at 05:29 PM
Remember when I had the lump that needed a name. It turned out to be nothing. :D There are so many other things it could be. But if you need to scream or holler, just go ahead... you know my email.
Hugs, thoughts and prayers. Fine... I'll even go to bible study tonight (I was going to skip it) and add you to the prayers there.
Posted by: Stacey | March 26, 2008 at 06:05 PM
(((hugs)))
My Mom and my sister have both had that happen and it turned out to be fibroid cysts. On the other hand, my Aunt Susan is in remission from breast cancer. It is good that you are getting it checked out. Thoughts and prayers for you <3
Posted by: Jenny | March 26, 2008 at 06:42 PM
Isela~ I had one of those "lumpys" myself a few months ago (still have it, in fact) I had a mammogram, and lo and behold, I had a hidden "lumpy" that required a biopsy. It turned out to be a small fibrous cyst, but believe me, I did a lot tearing up and hugging for the week between the mammogram and the biopsy. BTW, the first "lumpy" was fatty tissue caused by my underwire bra. Hang in there, and remember that most lumpys are just nothing. Thinking of you and sending you good positive vibes!
Heather
Posted by: Heather | March 26, 2008 at 08:21 PM
Good for you for being diligent enough in your exams that you were able to detect a difference immediately!
I can't say I know how you feel, because I don't. I CAN say that I'll be thinking of you. Keep us posted, dear heart.
Posted by: Melissa | March 26, 2008 at 08:32 PM
I'm speechless...you'll be in my prayers. Hang in there! :*)
Posted by: Bethany | March 26, 2008 at 09:09 PM
Isela, You are in our prayers. The waiting is the worst...I've had more than one lumpy and thankfully they've been fibroids...daughter, age 30, just underwent surgery to have a lumpy removed as the mammogram was unclear so doctor didn't want to take any chances, of course the results from the lab took 10 days...Thank you Lord, for the wonderful results...one sister passed away from breast cancer in 2004, May she rest in peace. Hers was found too late and she wouldn't undergo the treatment needed...
...remember, you are a young vibrant young woman with a loving family and a wonderful circle of friends, online and off...we are here.
Please feel free to pm if you feel the need to "talk"...
Dear Lord, Please watch over and protect Isela during this time of uncertainty. Amen
Ruth
Posted by: Ruth | March 26, 2008 at 10:21 PM
I had a needle biopsy on a lump a few years ago. And the mammogram was definitely less scary/painful than I'd expected it to be. Keep your chin (and your boobs) up! We're rooting for you!
Posted by: (the other) sprite | March 27, 2008 at 12:29 AM
My prayers are with you. The waiting is the worst part.Many turn out to be nothing but cysts or fibroids. I had a milk duct dry up a few years after my youngest. Try to think positive, it is the best attitude anyway.We are there for you lifting you up.Angels all around.
Posted by: Jeannette Pirkle | March 27, 2008 at 12:48 AM
Isela,
I had one of those scary discoveries myself about a month ago or so. I can completely understand how scary it is. Mine actually turned out to be a lymph node that was swollen and was related to my strange dizzy spells (viral). Whatever it turns out to be, my prayers are with you. You are fortunate you discovered it early because I know from personal experiences (I have several women in my own family that have had breast cancer), that early detection will give you the absolute best chance of survival. Also, positive thoughts and trusting in the Lord is of the upmost importance! If you pray about something, you need to give up your worry and hand it all over to the Lord.
Posted by: Karen | March 27, 2008 at 07:21 AM
Isela, my thoughts and prayers are with you:) I'm sending you hugs and kisses! Take care, I'm here for you.
Posted by: Sarah | March 27, 2008 at 08:29 AM
Isela,
I'm so sorry to hear that. I will keep you in my prayers, and hope that it's nothing serious. It's fortunate that you do the monthly self-exams, and did find the lump, so you can get it checked out.
Posted by: Laura | March 27, 2008 at 08:33 AM
Isela - Know that there are lots of us out here praying and thinking of you, I'm new to this whole community, but you have been an inspiration to me. Angels comfort you in this wait, hopefully it will be the worst of it all. Tabytha
Posted by: Tabytha | March 27, 2008 at 09:21 AM
My thoughts are with you, as a woman, as a wife, as a mom of two little ones about the same age as your two. If anyone deserves a "nothing pass", it's you! I'm so glad you're a woman. Just think, if you were a man, you'd have like three boobs before we could coax you into doing anything about it! :)
Posted by: Whitney | March 27, 2008 at 02:56 PM
Isela, you are in my prayers. Keep a positive outlook. My Sis-In-Law has had at least 4 of these, and they have always turned out to be nothing to worry about, even though there was much worrying while waiting for the results. I hope your results bring good news.
Huggz!
Posted by: Jeannie | March 27, 2008 at 05:11 PM
My little Isela! I'm so sorry! I'll remember you and your lump in my prayers. As a side note, Lumpy is what we call Spencer. Anyway, I would be worried too. Hopefully it is nothing. Let me know what I can do.
Posted by: Jamie Jo | March 27, 2008 at 09:01 PM
Oh sweetie. Please let us know as soon as you know anything.
xo
Posted by: scoutj | March 27, 2008 at 09:57 PM
You are so ahead of the game on this which is a good place to be!! So focus on other things.. what is happening now because you cannot do anything about anythin else!
-Denise who is waking up from the stupid stupor she has been in for the last week...
Posted by: Denise | March 28, 2008 at 01:22 PM
Very scary! I'm hoping and praying the lump turns out to be of the not-a-problem variety.
Posted by: Angie | March 28, 2008 at 09:12 PM