Harry Potter Previews and my SP

The next Harry movie is just around the corner...I can feel it. It is almost here and I am so excited...I feel butterflies in my stomach. Yeah, I have read the books and I know what happens, but seeing it is a whole different pot of gold.

If you haven't seen the previews for the upcoming Goble of Fire movie, you must check it out. It seems that it is keeping up to the other movies in graphics and action. Definitely not a show for my 3 year old boy, whom loves Harry, but this Mum must check it out on November 18. Sooooo....I am planning to knit something to keep up with the Harry Potter theme...what should it be? I am thinking maybe a Hermione hat or maybe a scarf, probably a hat.

And now, I would like to take a few moments to tell you how much fun I am having with my Secret Pal. We keep in constant contact, you see, she is a LOST fan too and it is tons of fun chatting about the show. She is also so wonderful...remember Twist, well, she got it for me, that very same afternoon I mentioned it in the bloggy. She just rocks! And I can't wait to "see" who she is and read all about her in her bloggy.

Tchau :)

My Fav T-shirt and some random knits

Over at PumpkinKnits, Pumpkinmama wants to see our fav t-shirts. I have to say, I only have 1 very favorite t-shirt. And here it is...

Ok, so it is midnight and I probably look like roadkill, but give a woman a break, I just went through a whole day of work and kiddos and an unnerving episode of LOST.

Here is a close-up:

When I wear this t-shirt outside, it just makes me feel young and careless, so as you probably already imagine, I only wear it around the house. Another favorite thing about it is that it looks so sporty. I love the green color too and the blue edging around the sleeves.

In knitting news...well, tried knitting Branching Out with crack Rowan Kidsilk Haze, and I have to say that it feels like I am knitting my own darn hair, it is so thin and I am not really sure if I am liking the way it looks. Another annoying thing, my needles are too thick at the point to knit all those K3Tog, and SSK, and K2Tog...so experienced knitters, please suggest a better needle to use when knitting lace....please, I beg you. Share your knowledge...I have about 8 skeins of Kidsilk Haze and I would like to use them, but if I can't find a decent needle, I may have to give it to my Mum's cat to play with.

RAOKed and a FO

I traded some yarn with Denise last week and yesterday, I received my trade and a little RAOK from her.

That is Blossom yarn and a pattern for a baby shrug. Immediately, I had the urge to try the pattern, but I waited for a few hours...not because I wanted but because I had to fix dinner and then feed the family....you know, responsibilities!   

But, I couldn't stay away for long from the yarn, you see my needles were calling my name. They had been feeling neglected for a few weeks as they saw me open the closet each day, but instead of picking them up, I picked up a loom. They were sad, neglected and lonely. So, I decided to bring them some happiness, and the yarn quickly, ok, if you can call a whole day of knitting quick became this...

A little shrug for Nyah. Have you ever tried to keep a baby still for just a few seconds?

Let me tell ya, it is hard work. So Sam tried to make her smile and keep her stil, but she kept going everywhere. Which is ok, because it gives me the chance to show you the shrug in different poses.

Yeah, she makes a great model...if only she could go to sleep before 11pm.

And of course, I have to also share a pic of my little Bryant. Oh, he is getting so big. He used to be my little boy, now he is just so big and he doesn't like to be called a "baby" anymore.

My little baby boy is growing up, but in the meantime, I'll enjoy the process and watch with delight at all the different stages he goes through.

Next on the needles...I am itching to try another Branching Out, this time with some Kidsilk Haze in wine color.

Tchau ;)

Chop, chop

It was just getting too long and unmaneageable. If you saw me, I usually had it up all the time, so there was no point in having it, so finally, yesterday, I decided to go chop, chop to it. And I went from this:

To this:

Ok, stop laughing, I'm not a model, but heck, it is hard to take a picture of yourself by using the mirror and a little baby to make you smile. My nose also is not that big...is it (trying to look at it). Well, what do you think? Be honest! I really was afraid of chopping it too short in fear that my chubby cheeks would take over and make me look like all cheeks. 

Anyways, I chopped about 7-8 inches. It feels a bit weird, but I am hoping my headaches stop and I was in need of a bit of a change. Now, if I could only get the guts to get some red highlights :). 

In knitting news--have you seen the new Twist sweater by Chicknits. I absolutely love it. I want it, I must have it. I don't know if I would put fringes on it, but I like the sweater.

In looming news--I am looming a bag on a Prayer Shawl Loom using Burly Spun by Brown Sheep. It is gorgeous, chunky yarn. Just 10 rows done, but it is going fast.

In family life, my little Nyah has a cold and she is miserable right now. It is tough being a baby and not being able to blow your nose. So she is getting extra Mommy time and lots of cuddles.

Which Famous Person...

Ok, another one, this one will be the last one of the day :).

Which Famous (infamous) person are you a reincarnation of?

 

*You're Albert Einstein! You are incredibly smart, although, you know that you do make mistakes like everyone else. You are kind, but you spend most of your time studying or doing experiments.*

Oh...I like this one a lot better than the other one.

Are you obsolete? I am Latin

Just for fun...a quiz brought by Quizilla Are you obsolete?

You are 'Latin'. Even among obsolete skills, the tongue of the ancient Romans is a real anachronism. With its profusion of different cases and conjugations, Latin is more than a language; it is a whole different way of thinking about things. You are very classy, meaning that you value the classics. You value old things, good things which have stood the test of time. You value things which have been proven worthy and valuable, even if no one else these days sees them that way. Your life is touched by a certain 'pietas', or piety; perhaps you are even a Stoic. Nonetheless, you have a certain fascination with the grotesque and the profane. Also, the modern world rejects you like a bad transplant. Your problem is that Latin has been obsolete for a long time.

Ok, I don't know if this is true--do you really reject me...booo hooo. I thought I was ok, but now I know...I am a bad transplant. I'll go to the corner and cry.

Hooked on LOST

No knitting content today...I have been looming away at ballerina slippers trying to make different sizes and writing up notes for the patterns.

Tonight is the premiere of LOST Season 2. We just got Season 1 over the weekend and Sam and I are hooked! We are only 1/2 way through the first season and I am anxiously looking forward to watching the other 1/2.

My dilemma, of course, is such a silly dilemma, but tonight is the premiere for the 2nd season, so if I am 1/2 way through the first season and I watch the premiere of the 2nd, would it ruin the next episodes in Season 1? And I know some of you may be thinking--duh! record it. But, you see, we only have 1 tv in the house, so we can't record it and watch the other episodes from Season 1 at the same time.  Hmmmm.

Anyone else into this program...I know my Secret Pal likes it too :).

I know...I am kinda of a couch potato and like to knit and watch tv.

To whomever watches this show...enjoy tonights episode :).

Ahoy me hearties!

Ahoy! Today be International Pirate Day and we are supposed to be talkin' like pirates.

Me be pirate and me pirate name is Captain Ethel Kidd

*Even though there's no legal rank on a pirate ship, everyone recognizes you're the one in charge. Even though you're not always the traditional swaggering gallant, your steadiness and planning make you a fine, reliable pirate. Arr! *

Well--I am in charge me pirates--at least according to that description. Arr, walk the plank and catch me a fish for dinner, lol.

In me knittin' news, this lubber has been amakin' ballerina slippers on the looms. Trying different yarns and a different close for the toes. The latest ones feel a lot better on the toes, but the latest yarn, Patons Merino, has a lot more shrinkage than the lovely Brown Sheep. So the pattern for sure must say the type of yarn recommended.

If anyone of ye pirates are intested in testing my pattern, drop me a note, I need some little help. The following items are needed:

• Baby Hat Loom in Regular Gauge (32 pegs spaced at .5")
• About 500 yards of Lamb's Pride Bulky
• About 5 hours of your time

Here be some pictures o' t' slippers

Avast! The bilge rats have me camera! Must go in search around the house...

Ahoy! Me found it..here we go. Can you see--no bulk on the toes--success achieved!

A Loomy Looming Day

Yesterday was the grand day at Yarn Today. We had the knitting loom demonstrations and the turnout was awesome! We had about 10 people show up for the demos and most of them stayed with us the entire day. We were there from 10am to 4:30pm. Some showed up around 10 and some a bit later, but most of them stayed for the duration of the event. So, I am thinking that the demo must have been interesting, or they fell asleep on their chairs, but I think it was the first one--thank goodness!

Of course, I was a bit scared and afraid of making a donkey out of myself, but Tina was there to help me out :). She was there to help me out and to dig me out the holes I dug myself into. If I ever become famous with my looming and I have to go on tour around the country to do demos, I would have to take Tina with me :).

The day started with a demo of the round looms, then we moved to flat panel knitting, and lastly, to a small intro to the knitting boards. I even spiced it a bit by showing them an advanced stitch-the popcorn stitch :). I think they enjoyed that one very much.

Most of the new loomers are coming back to Nite in Knots to start their "real" projects. Some want to start scarves on the knitting board, others want to make a felted bag, and others want to try making prayers shawls and  triangle shawls.

Overall it was a terrific experience. It was a bit unnerving at the beginning but as the day progressed, I got in my loomy mode and my "gabbing" flowed easier. Now, I know what I would do differently if I had to do it again.I have gained experience and I am ready for a second try :).

Would I do it again? In a heartbeat! The joy of sharing the craft was exhilarating. Yeah, I was a bit tired, OK-I admit, I was pooped by the time I got home, but it was well worth it.

Joys of my Loomy Day:

• Foo learning how to wrap a round loom and a knitting board and all through out, she was full of smiles.
• Mary getting excited about making a felted bag and learning as fast as she could so that she could start her bag on Thursday
• Rita, although an avid knitter, picking up a board and learning the figure 8 stitch--with purple yarn :).
• Linda learning how to purl in under a minute!
• Rachel do 4 rows of popcorn stitch all by herself

For all these wonderful ladies, this was their first contact with looms. The excitement of seeing their first knitted swatches was evident and contagious.

The entire day was just fab! But it had to be, you see, my day started with a very tight hug from my hubby and the words of reassurance that I would do great. And, a little something to brighten my day and give me a smile.

SP6 Questionnaire & a contest

Dear Secret Pal, I don't know who you are, but I know that you are probably looking for my questionnaire. Here it is in case you are wondering. It is also on the sidebar by the SP6 button.

I am excited and I await my email letting me know who I will be spoiling for the next little bit.

Now for the bribe contest--I have decided that like many other bloggers, I have become a "comments hog". I know the blog gets viewed, but I am lacking on the comments section. So, I am resorting to a bribe, yep, a bribe...you see how low I am willing to go to hear from you. If you are reading this and would like to win the following: 2 skeins of Noro #70 leave me a comment. Comment #350 wins the yarn :). At the rate I am getting comments, it should be anytime in the next month, hahahaha. So, start leaving me comments :).

Nites in Knots and SP6

I am doing a happy dance, yippee! I was able to sign up to SP6. I am one of the very last additions. Thank you gals for allowing me to jump in the wagon :). I will add my questionnaire tomorrow to the sidebar. I can't wait to get my secret pal :).

Today was Nite in Knots at Yarn Today and like always, a sensational time was had by all. Rachel brought in one of her artwork in for us to see--it was AMAZING! I would like to describe it, but I am afraid I lack the words. I will try to get a picture of it next Thursday. Tina from Yarn Today has taken to her electric spinning wheel and is flying away making luscious skein after skein. I keep reminding her that my birthday is coming up ;).

Oh, I took my new knitting bag with me and I love it. It fits lots of yarn AND it stays up while I am knitting, so the yarn doesn't "pop" out of the bag. The extra pockets come in very handy too. The inside even has a place where I can put my knitting tool--yep, the one for looming. Thank you Kelly :).

In knitting news, I am going to start swatching for Kepler. I hope I can find a suitable yarn for it. I have some cotton-ease, but I am afraid that my gauge is a bit loose with cotton, so I have to try something different. The obstacle: finding a yarn that it is not too scratchy and yet have enough crisp to it to show off the cables.

In looming news, the Demo day at Yarn Today is this Saturday. I am excited and yet afraid. It is my first time demonstrating--if you don't count the demos at fairs and other community events. I am just a bit afraid--I hope everything goes ok, and that I have the knowledge necessary. I guess, I am just worried that I won't know everything they would like me to know. How about if someone asks me to do something that I can't do, what would I say?

But, no more worrying for the night. I want to show you what I did today on the looms.

My Ballerina Slippers on a Loom

They sort of resemble the knitted ballerina slippers.

Only one of them is felted so far-I wanted to see that I got the measurements correct.

Actually, I made 3 of them, but the very first one came out soooooooo humongous that it would have fit an elephant. It looks more like a bowl rather than a hat. I don't have a picture of my first goof-off because I purposely accidentally left it at Nite in Knots. But, I will show you a pic Saturday of the Elephant Slipper, as I have named it, lol. Yeah, swatching has not sinked in yet, I will learn one of these days.

In this last picture, the pair is underneath and waiting to be felted. I am going to write down the pattern, and then loom knit another pair tomorrow-yep, these slippers can be done in about 4 hours! I'm thinking of doubling the soles so they are a bit more comfy.

I'm so spoiled...thank you :)

The mail came and it brought lots of good things--OK, a few bills, but I am not going to talk about those. First, I was very intrigued by a little handmade envelope, so quickly, I opened it. And I discovered that I had been RAOKed by Julie with a awesome paper crane. Of course, I proceeded to blow into the hole underneath like the instructions said and Bryant right away said "Mum, why are you doing that for? It is not going to fly" LOL. Kids! Thank you Julie-I love it!

Next, I had a package from my Secret Pal--and what a package. Wowzie! Look at all the goodies I was spoiled with--yep! that is a new knitting tote, it even has a little hole where you can pass the yarn through! Amazing! The little scarf was rapidly taken away from my fingers and look who was wearing it-Bryant. He was very happily telling me that it was a nice soft scarf. hehehe, OK, don't laugh too much, he is a boy, but he loves scarves and all things that have to do with yarn--I think it has to do with the closet full of yarn I have and the non-stop projects I have going on all the time. I can't help it, he may be the next yarn connoisseur of his era!

My last surprise package was from Jannette's & Harley's contests. I knew that one of them was the Rowan's Classic Garden book, but I didn't know what I was getting for the other contest. Take a look! What an amazing surprise, 8 skeins of Noro!! If you haven't entered her contests, come and tried them, or take a look at the yarns she offers. She ships in supersonic speed!

Well, I am in hog heaven right now. Feeling very, very spoiled, it feels like it is my birthday :).

Thank you all for making my day!

In knitting news- I finished the cable scarf on the knitting board. It is ready for the demo this Saturday. I still would like to make a shrug with the Softwist Bulky, but time is running out. I'll post pictures of the scarf a bit later, Bryant would be my model and he wants to take a shower first and wear his Sunday best--yeah, he is a bit vain. lol.

Icky

So what do you do when you have a 3 year old sick with the stomach flu, loads of laundry to wash and fold, a dirty nasty bathroom floor, a 9 month old baby wanting attention, 3 loom projects to finish, oh, and the "responsible Mum" is feeling like road kill that has been run over a few times too many. Nothing! Nothing gets done, I tell ya!

5pm and "responsible Mum" is still wearing pajamas-she got a bath, but she is still wearing pajamas. Lunch consisted of dry toast for both 3 year old and Mum. 9 month old baby got some baby food that smelled nastily to Mum and rushed Mum to worship the royal throne. 

Well, I don't want to leave you with that mental picture, instead, I will share with you the beautiful cables I cranked out yesterday on a knitting board. They are my first attempt on a knitting board--the top sample will become a scarf :).

*Update, Mum finally decided that the bathroom floor and dishes were just too much for her. So, reluctantly, she became friends with the mop and bucket and disinfected the floor. The dishes got done very slowly, but the dishwasher is finally going.

One thing for sure-Mum is thankful that it is only a 24 hour flu.

Cutie Pie Poncho and a meme

So, she has little goldfish hanging out of her mouth, but she is still so cute. She makes that little poncho look so darn good. It is the first one of many to come. I figure she can wear them during the Fall and next Spring. I think I am going to add a little string to tie it under her arms so it doesn't flap all over the place.

The poncho was done on a regular gauge knitting loom, using the flat stitch, and the purl stitch. Instructions are available in PDF format and you can find the link on the side bar.

Peggy tagged me with a cute meme, it is the second one since I started blogging. So here we go :).

Ten years ago: I was a sophomore in high school. Was kind of a geek that belonged to all the math clubs. I am not that good in math now. My favorite thing to do was to help out in the school library so I could sit down and read to my heart's content.

5 years ago: I left all my family and friends in NY and moved to Utah to start a new life. I got engaged to Sam on Christmas Day.

1 year ago: I was eating to my heart's contes as I was pregnant with Nyah.

Five Snacks: Well, I don't usually snack, but I do eat all day long and if the following things are around, I will eat them:

• Tacos
• Rice Cakes
• Tamales
• Donuts
• Did I mention Donuts

I have a very soft spot for donuts :)

5 Songs I know all the words to: Dido-White Flat, Dido-Here with Me, Akon-Lonely, A-ha: take on me, Hilary Duff-Wake Up.

Five things I would do with $100 million:

• Pay off all our school debts
• Buy a nice little house with an enclosed backyard.
• Buy another little house for my Mum and move her here to Utah to live near me and provide for her for the rest of her life--she needs a break.
• Bring my grandparents over to the US and buy them a house and provide for them for the rest of their lives.
• Buy Sam lots more tools for him to play at the shop.

Five places I would run away to:

Hmm, interesting question. I don't know many places, but if I had the money, I would go to Scotland. But since I don't, I'll conform myself with the quietest place in the house. However, I usually run to the mall to get some "down" time from the kids.

Five things I would never wear:

• Strapless dresses
• Nylons--uncomfortable things!
• Heels higher than 2"
• Halter tops
• Belly shirts/short tops

Five favourite TV shows:

• Roswell
• Monk
• Charmed
• Phil of the Future
• Stargate

Five biggest joys:

• Seeing my kids laugh and happy
• When my Mum comes to visit
• Seeing Sam perform well in school
• Shopping
• Sleeping Late--really late

Five favourite toys:

• My pc with fast internet access
• My looms
• My needles
• My little iPod
• Pots & Pans

Five people to pass this onto:

Dlandra because she has a spanking new blog J

Denise because I want to know what she has been up to in life

Kim because I am nosey and I want to know about her a bit more J and her fav music

Tracey because I met her online through the blogs and I hope to one day meet her in person and know a bit more about her :).

And I think that’s all J

Have you peeked in the new Knitty yet?

It is heavenly. So many lovely patterns, where do I begin? I must say my heart is set on Josephine. It is lovely, I must have it, it is FREE! Oh, I want it, I need it, I would look so lovely with it.

After Josephine, I must try Samus which reminds me quite a bit of Kepler.

Then, a girl gotta have one of this.

Then to finalize my thirst, I must quench it with Lacey. Do you think Kidsilk Haze would work with that pattern? I have 3 skeins of it :).

Oh, I am very much in love with this last issue of Knitty. So much that I just spent a whole 2 hours looking over it and seeing if my diminutive knowledge of knitting could tackle some of the patterns.

Well, it is officially 1 hour into Thursday and I am barely going to bed. Between the new Knitty and Leven Thumps and the Gateway to Foo I have just sacrificed 3 hours of sleep. Nyah should be waking up in 3 hours for some lechita.

Till another day :)

A new loom stitch-Mock Crochet!

So, just when you think you have things figure out, something new comes up. It is so exciting!

Last week, at Night in Knots, Tina showed me a new stitch she had found. It looks sorta like little bricks or basketweave. Looking at it once, it looks like crochet. So, I think we are going to call it Mock Crochet.

 

Close-up of stitch:

How to do it:

Done in a flat panel, flat stitch/U-wrap. The stitch is worked over 3 pegs.

Set up row: Cast on with your favorite cast on method. Knit 1 row of purl stitch.

Step 1:

Wrap the first peg in a clockwise direction. Knit over (KO)

Step 2.

Yarn will be between peg 1 and peg 2, towards the inside of the loom. Wrap again the 1st peg, by wrapping in a clockwise direction. Run the yarn towards the second peg as pictured above. KO. Yarn will be by peg 2 (between peg 2 and peg 3, towards the inside of the loom).

Step 3:

With yarn coming from behind peg 2, run it to peg 1 (behind), wrap around it so the yarn is now in the front like in the picture, and run the yarn to peg 3. KO

Yarn now is behind peg 3. From peg 3, run the yarn to peg 2 (behind the pegs). Wrap around peg 2 and run it to peg 4. KO.

The stitch is worked over 3 pegs. The working yarn is in the middle peg. Then you wrap the peg before it by running the yarn behind the peg, then as you wrap around it, wrap the middle peg and the next peg. Thus wrapping 3 pegs.

If you are like me and like seeing things in motion, check out the Mini-movies. Two options available: dial-up and High Speed Internet. The dial-up has terrible picture, but you can get the idea.

Enjoy :)

So Tempting...

So Laticia sent me the link to the Rhinebeck Fiber Festival. Of course, I had to check out the event's location and guess what!  It is only 45 minutes away from my Mum's. My Mum lives in Dover Plains, NY. Oh, this event is so tempting for various reasons

1. I would love to see my Mom--it has been almost a year since I last saw her.
2. I can get to meet Laticia in person
3. The fiber is calling me
4. It is my birthday weekend--Oct. 17 :)

Only 3 things holding me back from it:

1. Sam's School
2. The business
3. And the ever non-presence of $$$$

It would definitely be super nice to go and see my Mum and for her to see the children.

Don't be scared...it is just me

So, again, I went and changed things a bit. I figure Fall is coming and I wanted to have a fall theme with the blog. Let me know what you think...if you really hate it, or so-so, or okie dokie. I will also be working on the buttons, making them all uniform in size--eek!

I am also a bit happy, you see I won a contest on eBay over the weekend. I was very happily surprised to come back from the mini-vacation to find out that I have won the Rowan Classic Garden book.

In knitting news--a bit saddened. I still don't have my lace socks finished and at this point, I know for sure they won't be for me. You see, I knitted them way too long. I think they can fit about a 7.5 which is not bad, except I am a 6.5 :(. I was such a dummy, I took them with me over the weekend and apparently, I got very excited to knit in the car that I forgot to measure my foot and the sock or maybe it was the excitement of hearing Harry Potter 1 on the way there. Here is lonely sock 1, must make the mate and find a recipient for them.

In looming--chugging along on a pair of socks right now for the Demo day at Yarn Today. The day is approaching fast and I still have 3 projects to finish....help!! That is what I get for procrastinating.

Mini-Getaway

The last mini-vacation of the summer took us down to Park City, UT to the Sheepdog Championship & Fiber Festival. Our hopes were very high, both hubby and I had never been to a fiber festival before so we were hoping to see lots of different things--spinning wheels, triangle weaving looms, floor looms, and of course, fiber. I, of course, was looking forward to splurging a bit of mula on some yarn. We saw a couple of spinning wheels, two Ashfords to be exact, one a single and the other a double. I don't spin (yet), but I did like the looks of the double. We found 1 triangle weaving loom located in a nice booth full of roving and drop spindles. I am guilty of fondling lots of the roving, so if any of you stopped by the booth and it had some drool on it, it was mine...hehehe.  We were expecting to see more spinning wheels and me, I wanted to pet lots and lots and lots of fiber. Oh, well, next year we may go to a fiber show in Colorado ;).

The day turn out really well, we found our friend Rita from Yarn Today, she had a booth there and we stopped and chatted. Bryant was very happy to see her and Andy. Bryant took off with Andy for a bit of llama petting. Talking about Bryant, he really had a blast.

This was his very first Pony Ride and he loved it. I thought he would be scared, but he was very happy to go on it. His only complaint-"Mum, I don't have a hat" LOL. Yep, those were his exact words.

Then, the Bouncy House-if there is ever a bouncy house, he has to take a go on it.

And if you ever wondered what the men wear under their kilts--take a peek :).

Yep, apparently, nowadays, they wear something like spandex shorts. These are the Scottish games. The guy is throwing/hurling a 16 pound rock, then they measure how far the rock landed. Apparently, this was used in the past to see arm strength.

Women also took part in this event--that rock landed 16 feet away!! Wowzie!!

Park City overall--cool looking little town. We are definitely going back to visit all the shops I missed on Main Street.

And lastly, I would like to share my favorite part of this festival.

A funny :)

My dear friend Charlie sent me this and I had to share with all of you. Enjoy :)

PS: Don't forget

And check out the Knitting Loom Auctions I have, the proceeds will go to the American Red Cross Katrina Relief Fund

Why Are Men Happier?

Men Are Just Happier People?  What do you expect from such simple
creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding
plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You
can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt
to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world  is your
urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom
because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of
which way to turn a nut on a bolt.   Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add
character.  Wedding dress - $5000. Tux rental - $100.  The occasional
well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut,
blister, or mangle your feet. One mood - all the time. Phone
conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all
your own jars. You get extra
credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to
invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.   Three pairs of shoes are
more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are
unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its
original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You
only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your
life.   Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of
shoes one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your
legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have
freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas
shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 23 minutes. No wonder men are
happier!