Today was a day that I don't wish to anyone. I could have definitely gone without this experience and I am sure my little one could have gone without it too.
She woke up fine, she way playing, running around, she felt a little hot but not to the point to worry me. We were playing, I was laying down on the couch downstairs, she got down to pick up her blankie and her zippy cup, she reached out for me and I picked her up to lay her down next to me. As I picked her up, she just looked out into space. I layed her down next to me and she didn't respond. I got so scared...my baby, my little one was not responding. I hugged her, I called her name. Her little eyes just started rolling back, her little body got all rigid. My baby...I was so scared. I gave her to my husband and he just started talking to her while I called the doctor's office. The doctor's office just said to call 911 all the while my little one was unresponsive. She couldn't move...her tiny little body was just so rigid, her little lips started going blue. The ambulance took what seem to me a lifetime...a lifetime when my little one's life was in their hands. By the time they arrived she had gone completely unconcious and she got lethargic, she looked so peaceful as in a deep sleep--which just sent my mind racing for an answer and to find away to bring her back to me. The paramedics took her temperature, pulse and she had some oxygen. She started slowly waking up, looking around.
She started to come fully awake while in the ambulance on our way to the ER, with tears just streaming down my face I tried to talk to her and ask her questions, at first she didn't respond just looked at me and cuddled next to me. Slowly she started squinting her little eyes and she started talking. The paramedic was trying to get her to talk a bit, he took out a little stuffed animal just for her, my sassy one took it and said forcibly "NO". That moment was one that I would cherish forever--she got sassy which meant she was all there again.
At the ER tests were done to make sure that the fever was not caused by something that needed antibiotics. They all came back negative which means that it could just all be a viral infection that needs to come out of her system. The experience at the ER was not pleasant at all for her as she was wide awake and responsive to everything. She just wanted to be held and cuddled. My little one was with me again.
She is home with us, fever is up and I am up keeping an eye on her and trying to keep her cool.
She is okay--Mom is not--but she is okay. I am watching her like a hawk, if she does anything I am there with her. Although picking her up to lay her down on the couch is not something I want to do--my brain connects it to this morning's event and I don't want that to happen again. At first I thought it was something I did, maybe the way I picked her up, maybe something I gave her to eat...my mind can't really understand what happened.
The doctor's call it Febrile Seizure caused by a quick rise in temperature in the body. Little ones deal with the rise in temperature by shutting down their system and "re-setting" it. Only about 30% of children get it and only 30% of those who get it will have a repeat episode before their 5th birthday. The convulsion followed by the lethargy and then tiredness seem to be normal according to the doctors. Me, I call it: wake up and realize that they can be taken away from you in an instant. No book that I ever read on children told me or prepared me to today's experience. I really thought that I was losing my child and it hurt, it hurt so badly. I wanted someone to do something for her as I couldn't, I felt so powerless...I reached out to my husband and I pleaded to him to bring her back to me, to do something for her, to stop whatever was happening to her. My poor husband...he is my rock...he is there when I am weak and he holds me and lets me cry a river on his shoulder.
And my little one...she is safe...a little hot...but she is with me and I will hold her tonight and tomorrow and God willing the days after.
Note: There will be no Loomy Q & A day this weekend.