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September 2013

Opening Up

Kiddos 080 Kiddos 090

It has been awhile since I opened up on my blog about my life. Yeah, you would think that because it was my blog that I would open up more. Honestly, it is for me that I am writing it, however, it is difficult to write and then be open/accepting of the comments that come.

I made a difficult choice last month, actually, it has been a transition for me now for a few months. I have been working my butt off each evening teaching fitness classes. I *LOVE* teaching fitness classes. I find profound joy in helping others get their sweat on. It is even better when they come a few months later and tell me that I have helped them in shedding a few pounds. I am very passionate about teaching and I share that passion in each of my classes. I go hard and I leave everything at the class.

However, my love for teaching was having an effect in my home. One that I didn't realize for awhile. I have one of the most supportive, loving, caring husbands in this world. He has been the backbone of our home since I started teaching. Each new class I took, he would nod and say "go ahead, you can do it, I will be here with the kiddos." He has been the best. I have been teaching now for 3 years. 3 years this man has been taking care of the kiddos, feeding them, taking care of their after school activities, playing, ironing, and all that other stuff that comes with taking care of a home, all while I "played" away.

Last year, I saw that my little daughter wanted to spend time with me, but my answer was always "I can't right now. I gotta get ready to teach" or "I can't right now, I gotta memorize this new choreography" or "I can't right now, I gotta go to a meeting" or the very worst answer "I can't, Mommy is too tired". My kiddos were suffering without telling me a thing. One morning, I woke up and I realized that I had completely missed my son's 5th grade and my daughter's 2nd grade. It sucked and I felt like the worst mother on the planet. My awesome hubby, til this very day, has never complained about my teaching or my over scheduling myself.  How crazy was I? Let's see, at one point, I was teaching 12 Zumba classes and 4 spin classes.  Most of these classes were in the evening :/.

Now, it wasn't because of the gazillions dollars I was making. Every fitness instructor knows that our "career" is more of a "hobby" than anything else. So it wasn't financial gain that was keeping me at work. It was just my love for teaching fitness.

So the bottom line was: do I love teaching fitness classes or do I love my children. I love both. But I can tell you without a doubt that I definitely love my children more. So, something had to give, and I decided to stop teaching evening classes completely. 

Not teaching evening class will be very difficult since most gyms, fitness institutions want/need evening instructors. Last month, I closed my evening classes and opened two morning ones that I can teach while my kids are at school. I don't know if my morning classes would be successful but I am going to give it a try.

One thing is for sure--I am not willing to miss out on any more days, weeks, months, years of being with my kiddos.

Now, I will crawl back into my shell...


Mommy Afternoon

As many of you know, I am a PE teacher and have been now for 2 years, going on my 3rd year. I love being with the little ones at school. It is truly wonderful to share my love of fitness with little ones.

When I come home, I have already spent my day with about 120 little ones. I come home so exhausted and frankly, I need a 15 break just to myself. It is hard though because I come home and my kiddos come home full of news from their school and their day. I am trying to be a better momma and "be here" for them, not only physically but mentally too. I want to have conversations with them so that one day, when they are teens, they can feel comfortable talking to me about their problems.

Today, it was such a wonderful day *can you read sarcasm between the lines*. Anyways, I came home so tired and all I wanted to do was sit and just vegetate in front of the computer and look through pintrest. About 5 minutes after I came through the door, my little ones arrived. My daughter was upset because her teacher took a "$1" off her account because she got up to throw some garbage out when it was clean up time. Obviously, it was miscommunication. Teacher said "clean up" so NyNy got her garbage from her desk and went to the back to throw it out. Teacher simply wanted to have the desk cleaned and not to have anyone getting up and walkign around. NyNy was upset and very sad because she had lost her play money. I completely understand and my first thought was to say, "really, mija, it doesn't matter, it is not real money." But that wasn't what she wanted to hear, it wasn't about the money, it was about her getting her feelings hurt :(. I was grateful that I was here to give her a little hug and tell her that everything was going to be alright.

Another mommy moment--I have one of the smartest boys, I truly do. He is a little genious in sport's fanatic disguise. Typically, he doesn't need any help with homework or school work. Today, I asked him to show me his math homework, which he had finished at school. I just wanted to look through it and see what he was doing in class. I checked through the page and saw that he had indeed finished it. Then, I started reading through it. Decimals and adding and subtracting have never been my strongest point, so I decided to sharpen my skills with his homework. As we were going through it, he was explaining to me how to subtract decimals and how to find the greatest common factors (I still have no idea what he said to me, ha! I am not the brightest crayon in the box!). As we were reviewing the homework, we found 3 problems that were not correct. He was so grateful for my help and in reality all I did was do my "job".

I am so blessed to have the opportunity to be their Momma :). I even get extra points today--we ate dinner before 7pm!!! Yay for me!

Tomorrow will be a different story....may I have the patience that I need to be a good Momma.